Eva at the Entrance
You can google “French Laundry reviews” and find 6,740,000 results, but do any of them contain any of the following: a horrendous hostess, the crazy farting (and tall tale telling) guy at the table next to us, and the waiter describing how they use antique bone clamps to roast babies?
Upon our arrival at 8:40 for our 8:45 seating, we were (as cliche as you can get) giddy as schoolgirls at a Twilight movie opening. Our excitement began to wane as the hostess ignored us at the door, then ignored us for 35 more minutes as she served pre-dinner wines to everyone around us in the courtyard outside the restaurant! We were honestly 30 seconds away from leaving, but then were taken to our seats.
To the restaurant’s credit, they apologized for the delay and immediately served us two glasses of the eponymous Schramsberg sparkling wine, and our happiness returned.
The real question about French Laundry is: “Is it worth it?” The answer is: If you love and appreciate quality food, it is 100% worth it, as we will never forget the meal itself. They served nine courses of the most beautiful plates, with perfect food pairings, the “Tomme De Savoie” a.k.a. the apple pop tart with caramelized Cipollini Onions, Frisee, and Pedro Ximenez Reduction was the best food combo I’ve ever tasted.
"Tomme de Savoie" What? It's a pop tart!
Every dish was unique, including the first course: “Oysters and Pearls”, Pearl Tapioca with Island Creek Oysters and White Sturgeon Caviar. What struck me is that being a simple eater, I never would have ordered anything on the menu if at a typical restaurant. However, every bite was delicious and left me wanting more.
"Aiguillette" of Liberty Farm Pekin Duck
However, it was the people watching that gave us an unexpected show as the boisterous drunk neighbor next to us farted (twice), berated his wife: “TAKE THE F’ING PICTURE”, and loudly discussed his movie:
“Make sure to see my movie!”
“What movie?” I replied.
“Oh, you’ll see!” (insert fart here).
The award for the coolest food utensil arrived stuck to the rabbit (“Epaule de Lapin Farcie Aux Ris de Veau”). The food clamp attaches to the bone, and assists the eater in cutting as it holds the meat steady. We finally loosened up at the table when one of the many waiters remarked: “You should see the clamp we use to roast the children”! The joke broke the tension of the evening (the restaurant has no music, is very formal and quiet, and there is probably just as much staff as patrons), and we relaxed and enjoyed our meal even more.
"Epaule de Lapin Farcie Aux Ris de Veau" with clamp
The desserts were also spectacular, as our waiter brought us an extra “coffee and doughnuts” on the house (I believe to make up for the Horrendous Hostess experience). Chef Thomas Keller served Anthony Bourdain this dish (with crumbled Marlboro cigarettes on top, you can view on youtube.com) Thomas Keller certainly has a sense of humor!
"Coffee and Doughnuts"
In addition, we had a chocolate gateau, and a beautiful panna cotta:
Lemon Verbana "Vacherin"
The panna cotta had a big bang for your bite, as it contained the perfect blend of “Tellicherry Pepper, Lemon Verbana Sherbet and Chilled Silverado Trail Strawberry Consomme”. Tasty.
I almost forgot to mention the wine; we heard it’s best to give the sommelier a budget, and have him choose glass pours to match the food. He expertly choose a Ramey Chardonnay with the fish, and an Italian Barbera with the meat (shame on me for forgetting the wine!). Regardless, it was a perfect pairing and I recommend utilizing the sommelier’s skills.
The French Laundry is intense, delicious, artistic and memorable. We will never forget each course, or the experience, and it was certainly “worth it”.
